Adam and I had a meeting at the Catholic unversity down the street around 12:30 yesterday, so he thought it would be cool if we would hit up noonday prayers with the monks right before our meeting. All the hip kids were doing it, so why couldn't we? Okay, truth be told, it was the monks, two other people, and us. Real cool. Anyway, we hit up noonday prayers and to be honest, I was kind of nervous. I had never done anything in the Catholic church before. If you don't know what's going on, its kind of intimidating. I was intimidated.
So, we walk in and kind of look around for a couple minutes, and one of the fathers walks over to see what we're up to, can he help us with anything? Adam was super confident and told him that we were hoping to join you for noonday prayers. Oh, great! the father said. Why don't you sit here, we're just about to start.
The bell rings on campus for noon, and the monks start to file in. There was so much tradition in the chapel, that I wasn't really sure what to do. Am I being disrespectful by standing up because I am a woman? There are no sisters here, I am the only woman. Am I being disrespectful by chanting with the monks? I am the only woman. Should I just sit down? Would that be disrespectful? I am a woman. I am the only woman.
I don't ever recall feeling this way or thinking like this. I didn't feel inferior because I am a woman, I just felt out of place. I felt like I should let the men do their thing, and then later I should get together with some women and we could do our thing.
I'm not sure if these were just or right feelings, if they were feelings or thoughts from the Enemy, if they were simply my mind trying to wiggle its way out of a first time experience.
Ladies -- have you ever felt this way? What was the situation that the feelings came from? Did you feel that your thoughts and feelings were justified?
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I can't say I felt unwanted in a Catholic church before because I was a woman, but the only ones I went to were with Shelby growing up, and most were pretty contemporary. I did feel out of place the first time I went though, not knowing the prayers,sayings or traditions. But sometimes I truely find beauty in those traidions, handed down through the ages, its comforting sometimes. I can see though how you felt that way since there were no women there at all. I think in certain catholic traditions there is that separation. In most religions there's a separation due to gender. Have you ever read "Captivating", its written by the guy who wrote "Wild at Heart" with his wife. It talks about how the world was not meant for women & goes into detail...if you have it check out that chapter, its really interesting.
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